1 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,720 Are you all right, Winston? 2 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,360 You're with Daddy now. 3 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:23,440 With your two daddies. There's one daddy and two daddies here. 4 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,840 Would you like a tickle? 5 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,000 Oh, it's so creepy. 6 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,720 Good boy. 7 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:58,360 The Thai capital, Bangkok, and it's a pretty cool city. 8 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,480 But having been here a few days now, it's become clear 9 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,280 that my father and I don't exactly share the same vision 10 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,520 for this gap year trip. 11 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:14,000 Fortunately, Pru, a Bangkok local, has agreed to be our guide. 12 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,560 I'm told Thai religion is all about peace and tolerance. 13 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,040 So right up my father's street. 14 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,120 Not. 15 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,560 So, Michael, I understand that you're interested in Buddhism, 16 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,000 so I'd like to take you to a temple and it has a fantastic garden. 17 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,360 -Yeah, I love gardens, temples... -Very green-fingered. 18 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,880 -Good on temples. -Yeah. 19 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:45,520 And I've also arranged for you guys to meet a monk there as well, 20 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,480 -and his name is Pandit. Right. Father Pandit. 21 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,240 So this monk a friend of yours? Do you know him, or... 22 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,960 I don't know him personally, because as a woman in Thailand, 23 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,160 I'm not allowed to have a close relationship with a monk. 24 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,640 -Oh, I'm sure. -Close relationship, like... 25 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,160 As in, I'm not allowed to touch him, for example. 26 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,960 -He's not allowed to touch me, either. 27 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,440 So it must be limiting, if you were having a relationship with a monk, 28 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,800 to get anything going in the way of foreplay or anything like that. 29 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,800 I don't think you're allowed to have a relationship if you're a monk. 30 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,360 -No. 31 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,880 There was a monk at my old school who was quite interested in me, 32 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,280 but that's another story for another program. 33 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,000 -Anyway, he does speak English. Oh, right. That's good. 34 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,600 Is he one of the ones that you can, um, kick in between the legs 35 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,200 and he doesn't feel it? 36 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,320 -Um, maybe it's a different kind of monk. -Because of their... They're so zen. 37 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,200 If you kick them, they don't feel any pain. 38 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,360 Maybe... maybe you could try? 39 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,480 I'd check it out before you do the kick. 40 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,160 -Yes. 41 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,840 Otherwise, that could be the end of our day's filming. 42 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,880 Turns out it's not so much the temple that's interesting here 43 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,920 as the temple garden. 44 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,840 Complete with some of the biggest gnomes I've ever seen. 45 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,480 -Yeah, so these are all Chinese gods. 46 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,440 Like Telly Savalas, that one. Look. 47 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,480 Telly Savalas? -Yeah, Kojak. 48 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,800 -Why would there be-- -Oh, I don't know. Maybe... 49 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,320 So, you came here as a kid? 50 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,720 I did come here as a kid, when I was about seven or eight years old. 51 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:22,960 So this, I presume, is our monk. But he doesn't look all that local. 52 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,160 This is Pandit, and the way you greet him is to do a little wai. 53 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,680 -Okay. Come into the shade. And, uh, Pandit... 54 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,320 Pru was right. His English is pretty good. 55 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,480 And there's a very good reason for that. 56 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,200 You're obviously from England. What part of England do you come from? 57 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,400 So I'm from Cheshire. 58 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,480 -Oh, right. -Yes. 59 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,600 In the northwest of England. -Yes, absolutely. 60 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,520 And I don't speak posh Southern, but I think we can... 61 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,520 Yeah. -...we can understand each other. 62 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,480 When did you become a monk, Pandit? 63 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,160 -I've been a monk 20 years. Yeah. 64 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,560 Can I ask you about some etiquette with monks, 65 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,920 'cause we've been told not to touch you. 66 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,960 No, I wasn't going to. 67 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:03,440 But I meant that, like, we'd been warned that if we wanted... needed to, or... 68 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,040 Do what you like. I'm very informal, so... 69 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:09,200 And when we walk, we should walk behind you. 70 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,080 Usually if you're walking together, you would let the monk walk 71 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,240 -half a step in advance. -Sure. 72 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,600 So you're gonna show us around and tell us a little bit about the park? 73 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,079 -Sure. 74 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,160 -Come. It's okay. 75 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,000 We'll go here. 76 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,680 I'm on this side 'cause I hear better. 77 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,440 You're on that side, and then we shouldn't... 78 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,480 -You shouldn't go in front of... -No, no, it's... 79 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,360 -Just, like... Just a slight half-step. Just stay there. Okay. 80 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,520 Actually, the father should walk in front of the son, 81 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,640 -but it doesn't matter. I would agree with that. 82 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,720 Right, Jack, you get in there behind me. 83 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,760 I'd seen you in Fresh Meat, the TV series. 84 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:46,680 -I've seen Fresh Meat, yes. 85 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:47,840 How do you watch that? 86 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,640 -We can get that in Thailand. 87 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,600 It probably would be if they spoke English. 88 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,160 I'm honored. 89 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,040 So when they said we were meeting a monk, I definitely wasn't expecting Pandit. 90 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,320 A guy from Manchester. 91 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,840 I don't know if there's an exchange going on, 92 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,640 where in Salford there's some Thai vicar. 93 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,840 So Pandit is no ordinary monk, but then this is no ordinary garden. 94 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:14,800 Welcome to hell. 95 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,280 It's so weird. 96 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,640 It's weird. What's the deal with this? 97 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,600 So these guys have been reborn as hungry ghosts, 98 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:33,160 and their tongue symbolizes that they've lived their life of greed. 99 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,000 So what would get you to hell? 100 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,040 Drinking too much alcohol. 101 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,560 -Telling lies. 102 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,840 Ooh! Straight down. 103 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,720 And so, if you do those things, this is what will happen. 104 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:50,000 Yes. The deeds that you do do not go unseen. 105 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,760 They will follow you afterwards. 106 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:56,000 You could call it karma, you could call it just desserts. 107 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,920 What it means is that you don't get away with anything in the end. 108 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,400 As a former theatrical agent, 109 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:07,040 I think my father's looking rather worried about what happens to liars and thieves. 110 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,680 Is there a punishment for what happens 111 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,120 if you send your child away to boarding school at eight? 112 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,000 -I think there must be. -Discarding their child. 113 00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,000 This one I think actually is... I recognize this. 114 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,520 That guy there sent his kid off to boarding school at eight, 115 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,680 and that's what happens. 116 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,240 I did actually think this was gonna be quite a lame day. 117 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,000 Turns out this place is amazing. 118 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,600 It's like London Dungeons crossed with Disneyland... 119 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,680 crossed with... I mean, whatever that is. 120 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,680 What's even more bizarre 121 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,560 is that this place seems to be a fun day out for the whole family. 122 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,560 A chance for children to enjoy some blood and guts. 123 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:56,760 And a way for parents to show them just what could happen if they don't behave. 124 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,240 This is gonna be a bit of a wake-up call for you. 125 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,080 If you don't mend your ways, you're gonna end up like that bloke 126 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,400 being buggered by a man with a spear. 127 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,600 -And don't walk in front of me. -I... 128 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,880 Well, hopefully that's ticked religion off my father's list. 129 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,600 But with so much of this city still to see, 130 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,200 I fear it's going to be increasingly difficult 131 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,320 to prize him away from the manicured comfort of our hotel. 132 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,160 And the more of a boring old fogey he becomes, 133 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,880 the more of a teenager I seem to become. 134 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,240 Ugh. 135 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,880 -I'm bored. 136 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,080 Can we go do something? There's so much to do in Bangkok. 137 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,760 I'd love to go out partying with you, but I've got a book to write. 138 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,840 I just don't have the time. I've just got to get on with this now. 139 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,880 -I'm doing well. I'm writing a book. 140 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,520 -Nothing. It's a book I'm writing. 141 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,400 Autobiography. 142 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,520 -Hmm. 143 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,720 " 144 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,640 Who'd want... -You don't need a "why." 145 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,440 -Yes, I do. There is a "why." -Autobiography. 146 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,320 Who's gonna be in a bookshop browsing for autobiographies and go, 147 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:15,760 "Ooh, I wonder whose I should get. Hmm. Obama's, David Beckham's... 148 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,400 Ooh! Or I could get this one, which is an autobiography 149 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:23,000 of the former chairman of the Putney Common Association." 150 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,920 I wasn't the chairman of the Putney Common Association. 151 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,240 I was the deputy chairman. 152 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,520 -Edward Mullins was the chairman. -Okay, sorry. 153 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,120 What's this bit about? 154 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,840 This bit's about Hitler. This particular thing. 155 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,200 -Yeah. 156 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,840 -No. 157 00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:47,480 Just the influence that Hitler had on me when I was a young... when I was a child. 158 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,960 You're writing a book about Hitler influencing you? 159 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:54,520 No, I'm not writing a book about Hitler, but he had a lot to do with my growing up. 160 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,920 -I was born in 1940. 161 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,200 I was not in the Hitler Youth. 162 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,080 Well, you stay here and you write your book. 163 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,680 I'm gonna go out, see a bit of Bangkok. 164 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,200 Maybe hang out with a bit of a younger crowd for the day. 165 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,640 Fine. Okay, I'll see you later. 166 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,880 -See you later, Herr Whitehall. -Yeah. 167 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,520 I just wanna do something active. 168 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,200 I just wanna hang out with some younger people. 169 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:25,920 You'll get your wish today, don't worry. 170 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,360 She's coming down. 171 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,920 When I said, um, a younger crowd, I didn't mean quite this young. 172 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,000 -Yeah. 173 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,160 -Jack, I'd like you to meet Team Farang. -Hello. 174 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:50,080 This is, uh, Pasha, Sasha... and, uh, Anan. 175 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,040 How's it going? Anan. -Yeah, good. Nice stuff. 176 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,240 -Pasha, nice to meet you. -I can do very similar things. 177 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,160 Oh. -But I don't need the trampoline. 178 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,880 -That's impressive, yeah. -Yeah, pretty good. 179 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:02,680 So, what is this? 180 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,840 Uh, well, this is a trampoline park, but, uh, what we do is called freerunning. 181 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,440 Parkour? Know all about it. 182 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,840 Yeah, done a bit myself. 183 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,400 Are you gonna show me a few tricks? 184 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,640 -Sure, if you wanna get into-- -It'll be more of a sharing process. 185 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:17,880 -Of course, but, yeah. -Me showing you, 186 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,960 -you showing me... everything. -You can give me some tips. 187 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,960 Absolutely everything. Let's do this. Parkour, baby. 188 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,200 That's French for "jumping." 189 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,520 Yeah, yeah. Almost. You gonna climb up? 190 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:35,600 Yeah. 191 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,560 Need a hand? Yeah, got it. 192 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,320 -Nice. -Parkour. 193 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,840 Graceful. No, it's good. 194 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,800 Pasha, you wanna show some slightly more difficult tricks? 195 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,440 -He's just showing off now. 196 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,440 This guy, bit of a jackass, I think. 197 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,720 He tries. 198 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,440 He's a trier. Bounce off. 199 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,440 Good old-fashioned bounce battle, mate. 200 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,560 God save the Queen. 201 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:21,920 Winston Churchill. 202 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,440 Priest. 203 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,720 Running man. 204 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,040 -Ah! -Think that round goes to Pasha, Jack. 205 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,480 Keep his confidence up. Fair enough. 206 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,720 -Oh, hello. -Oh, hello. 207 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,760 -Yeah. 208 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,920 Uh, well, I'm here. Let's put it that way. 209 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,000 -But, yeah... I mean, yeah, Jack's fine. 210 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,400 And you've been all right, have you? You've been out and about? 211 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,280 -I've been out for dinner last night. Who with? 212 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,040 -Nigel. 213 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:06,840 -Yeah. Asked if I'd like to go for dinner. -Oh, cheers. Yeah, I bet he did. 214 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,240 -Sends his love. -Yeah, I bet he did. 215 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:13,120 Has he been-- -He's gone out on some sort of jaunt. 216 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,760 Freebasing or something like that. 217 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,360 -Something to do with-- -Freebasing is to do with drugs. 218 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,440 -So I hope it's not freebasing. -Oh, you never know with Jack. 219 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,600 But he said something about climbing walls or something. 220 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,720 221 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,760 -Freerunning, not freebasing. 222 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,480 -Yes, that's right. -Well, that's put my mind at rest. 223 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,160 So, we've been limbering up on the trampolines. 224 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,000 Now it's time to hit the streets. 225 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,360 We're gonna be freerunning up a 42-story derelict building. 226 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,080 Easy. I could piss 42 stories. 227 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:52,120 The financial crash hit Southeast Asia in 1997, 228 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:56,760 leaving more than 100 unfinished high-rise developments in Bangkok alone, 229 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:01,120 attracting adrenaline junkies like Team Farang from all over the world. 230 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,680 It seemed like such a good idea in the gym. 231 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:09,200 And this is probably gonna be the most unique way to view the city 232 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,760 that you're not gonna see in any traditional travel guides. 233 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,960 And, uh, this is the way freerunners look at Bangkok. 234 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,600 -If you're ready, let's head up. -Yeah, let's freerun. Let's do this. 235 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,920 -See you later, Pru. 236 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,000 Where are we headed? Make a right up ahead. 237 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,960 Keep moving. Keep moving. 238 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,560 Well, it's quite dark. 239 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,720 Oh, for fuck... Seven? 240 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:58,880 Come on! Coming! 241 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,520 This way, Jack. 242 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:04,880 Come on. 243 00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,320 Yeah. Fuck that. I'll come round. I'll meet you round there. 244 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,160 It's derelict. 245 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,320 You are gonna have to do some of the things he wants to do as well. 246 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,480 Yeah, I know. I mean... I'm going to do my best. 247 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,640 Let's put it that way. 248 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,480 It's quite exhausting. I mean, to be honest. 249 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,480 -Right. -I know it's early days, but-- 250 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,920 But you did say you'd do it, so I hope you're doing it with good grace. 251 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,440 -No, I am. -To be honest, 252 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,080 this could be the last chance you get to do traveling like this. 253 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,160 -Oh, charming. -Just embrace it. 254 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,400 Fine. I am embracing it. I am. 255 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,920 Such bullshit. 256 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,240 Forty 257 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,760 -Hey. There he is. 258 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:05,880 Hey, team. 259 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,880 -No. 260 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,120 I know that was quite a slow ascent, 261 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,680 and I don't wanna point any fingers at any one member of the group, 262 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,760 but I do think Pasha held us back a bit. 263 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,640 Maybe you wanna just have a word in his ears. 264 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:20,000 -Yeah. 265 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,920 We're gonna head up to the top now if you wanna get up. 266 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Take it at your own pace. Your own pace. 267 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,320 Let's do it. 268 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,680 Gotta look after the weakest member of the group. 269 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,000 And tonight I'm going out for a curry with Fiona, 270 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:35,000 -because you're not here. -Oh, rather dodged a bullet there, then. 271 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,320 I'm doing two things that you would not want to do. 272 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,520 -No. Okay. I'll talk to you soon. -Okay. We'll speak soon. Love you. 273 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,120 -Love you. -And love to Jack. 274 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,240 -Thanks. Bye. -Bye. 275 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,720 Oh, how the fuck do I turn this fucking thing off? 276 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:01,960 I'm coming, guys! 277 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:08,920 Come on. 278 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,920 I mean, I'm not gonna get my leg onto that, am I? 279 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,560 -Come on, man. You're so close. -No. 280 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,800 -Come on. You're missing the sunset. -I'll take your word for it. 281 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,400 This is my limit. I'm not going any higher. 282 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,360 I'm happy here. Perfectly happy here. 283 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,360 We did it, guys. 284 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,640 -They're taking fucking selfies. 285 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,360 I'm still here, you know. 286 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,240 Well, how do you turn this thing off? 287 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,520 -I keep pressing-- -You press the red button. 288 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,880 There is no red button. There's a green button which says "phone." 289 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,920 Oh, God. Don't make a call like this again without Jack being there. You're so inept. 290 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,880 Good to come down whenever you are. 291 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,000 We're due to leave Bangkok this afternoon. 292 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,880 But before we do, we ventured into the outer suburbs of the city. 293 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,040 We're here to collect a special present Pru has ordered for us. 294 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,599 Something she believes may help us bond better 295 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,920 and keep us safe on our travels. 296 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,200 Shoes. 297 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,640 Ridiculous. 298 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:31,680 I'm getting an uneasy sense that this is not your average gift shop. 299 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,240 Right. 300 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,880 -Hello. 301 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,960 Hello. Hello. 302 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,760 This is Ms. Mananya. 303 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,800 And, Ms. Mananya, this is Michael and Jack. 304 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,640 This is Petch. This is her son. 305 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,800 -Oh, nice. -Oh. 306 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:53,720 -Very nice. -Great. 307 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,080 These dolls are called luk thep dolls, 308 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,320 and they've been around for thousands of years. 309 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:03,240 And, traditionally, they were created with baby fetuses inside. 310 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,240 It had an actual fetus inside the baby? 311 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,840 Yes. But now they've modernized it 312 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,920 and made it a little more palatable for the modern people. 313 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,120 -Oh, right. -The belief behind it 314 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:19,080 is that if you take care of them well, they'll also take care of you. 315 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,200 People look after these dolls like their actual children? 316 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,880 Yes. I really want you guys to have a doll of your own. 317 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,200 You know, going to several countries, and I think having a doll with you 318 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,920 will be a symbol of good luck and of good fortune for your travels. 319 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,200 So while the latest addition to the Whitehall family 320 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,600 is being immaculately conceived, 321 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,720 we sit patiently in the luk thep waiting room. 322 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,360 Bearing in mind these are made to order, 323 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,960 why would you pick one with that expression? 324 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,400 Well, I guess she gets it wrong occasionally. 325 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:02,040 She probably has a sale once a year, and puts the ugly ones in the sale. 326 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,200 There's one up there that looks like Michael McIntyre. 327 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,480 That top, five in. 328 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,080 I think it'll be a good opportunity for you, having this doll. 329 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,600 A second chance to... to nail fatherhood. 330 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,200 Having cocked it up the first time around. 331 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,400 It's a chance to be a lot more affectionate 332 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,280 and caring and loving to your child. 333 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:30,360 When she hands it to you, 334 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,800 try not to send it to boarding school this time. 335 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,120 -I've been thinking about that. 336 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,040 I mean, I called you Jack 'cause my father was called Jack, 337 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,200 but I've always regretted not sticking to plan A... 338 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,240 which was to call you Winston. 339 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,520 -Mmm-hmm. 340 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,200 -Yeah. 341 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,440 It had a ring to it. 342 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,080 -Oh. 343 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,400 Oh, Winston. 344 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,760 And the moment you've been waiting for. This is your luk thep doll. 345 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,760 -Hello. -Meet your two new daddies. 346 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:10,160 Daddy and Grandpa. Not "daddies." Not a couple. 347 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,560 I just didn't want to confuse him. 348 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,080 Do you wanna have first dibs, as they say? 349 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,400 Gonna look after it. -Hello, Winston. 350 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,120 Daddy's here. 351 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,040 Right. That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen. 352 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,280 -Don't. Please don't creep him out. 353 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,000 Do you want to hold him? Don't do the voice. Just hold him. 354 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,280 No pooing. 355 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,200 There's a good boy. 356 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,320 -Right, Winnie, off we go. 357 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,080 -Thank you. Out we go. 358 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,120 -Thank you. Come with Grandpa. 359 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,440 It's time to leave our luxury hotel and head down south. 360 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,120 But to keep my father cheerful, 361 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,920 we're stopping off at the site of a World War II atrocity. 362 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,680 The bridge on the River Kwai. 363 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,000 I can't wait. 364 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,280 I'm good to go. 365 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,920 We're going on the Orient-Express. 366 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,760 You can't go on dressed like that. You look like a clown. 367 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,160 You told me to dress up smart, so I put on some trousers. 368 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,240 -Those aren't trousers. -Yes, they are. 369 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:12,080 Absolutely unacceptable. I'll have to lend you something. 370 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,160 The Eastern and Oriental Express. 371 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,400 Yeah, I'm really slumming it on this gap year. 372 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,920 -We look ridiculous. 373 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,640 We look like a vaudeville act. 374 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,920 No, we don't. We look very smart. 375 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,640 -Except those plimsolls wreck a lot. -Trainers. 376 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,440 You look like Paul McCartney or someone like that. 377 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,240 Oh, and here's some more real Thai culture to enjoy. 378 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,760 Thank you. Thank you very much. 379 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,480 This train goes all the way to Singapore via Malaysia. 380 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,840 Our luggage has been loaded for us. 381 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:57,960 Welcome aboard, sir. 382 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,760 -This way, sir. Oh, thank you so much. 383 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,480 And, of course, the service is immaculate. 384 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,080 This is your compartment. 385 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,920 But considering we're in the presidential cabin, 386 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,920 it's a little snug. 387 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,920 No, it's good. -I don't understand. 388 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,360 You won't go in a hostel, but you're happy with this. 389 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,560 I mean, this is definitely the same. 390 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,440 No, it's nothing like it. But why is, um... 391 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,760 Why is this backpack on my bed? 392 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,640 Why is that your bed? -Well, 'cause it's by the window. 393 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,200 I don't wanna be stuck over in that corner. 394 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,320 -'Cause I can look out of the window. 395 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,520 -But we're gonna be here at night. -See the countryside going past. 396 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,960 Doesn't matter. There's not gonna be any views. 397 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,920 -Well-- -It's gonna be shut at night. 398 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,760 -All right. Okay. 399 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,000 And they're exactly the same. 400 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,560 Excuse me, gentlemen. This is your bathroom. 401 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,600 We have liquor over there, okay? 402 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,280 -And ice bucket over there. Lovely. 403 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,120 I'm your steward. 404 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,520 If you have any problem, 405 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,000 you're going to call me, and you can press and call over there. 406 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,920 Thank you so much, Stewart. 407 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,720 Very nice to meet you. What a nice man. 408 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,720 -"Stewart." Steward. -He said he was Stewart. 409 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,240 He said "steward," not Stewart. Did he look like a Stewart? 410 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,440 You thought he was called Stewart? 411 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,920 Sorry. I mean, I... How would I know? 412 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,000 Stewart. 413 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,400 All very luxurious, 414 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,200 but I feel like a prisoner in a gilded cage. 415 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:38,080 We've flown 6,000 miles to end up in a gentleman's club on rails. 416 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,040 And, of course, my father is in his element. 417 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,440 This does feel like a lot of effort just to go and see a bridge. 418 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,480 What does it do? What happens when you get there 419 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:55,280 It doesn't do anything, no. You just go and look at it. 420 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,680 -Okay. -And it's a very famous film, too. 421 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,320 -I know the film. -With Alec Guinness, 422 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,440 who was a friend of mine. He was a member of the Garrick. 423 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,640 Sir Alec and I... Well, Alec, as I knew him... 424 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,960 With cucumber salad. Thank you very much. 425 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,960 -Enjoy your dinner. -Thank you. 426 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,560 And, I mean, he'd know all about bridge on the River Kwai. 427 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:19,000 People over here talk about Bridge on the River Kwai, the film, 428 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:24,040 as probably the best film that has ever been made in Thailand. 429 00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,360 What about The Hangover Part II? 430 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,480 -No, I haven't seen it. 431 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,600 I mean, that is just... 432 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,800 -Yeah. Three guys. 433 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,280 So you think that would be talked of in Thailand 434 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,480 in the same breath as The Bridge on the River Kwai, do you? 435 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,320 Yeah, probably. 436 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,840 You haven't dropped food down on the suit, have you? 437 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,360 It's fine. 438 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,320 Oh, God. -It's fine. It's just a tiny-- 439 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,520 Why didn't you use your napkin? 440 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,040 Because it fell off onto the floor, 'cause we're on a bumpy train. 441 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:56,600 -Dad, it's not very much. 442 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,080 -It's not that-- -God. I'm so annoyed with you. 443 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,200 I brought two suits with me for the whole of this trip. 444 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,280 -Don't rub it. -I'm not. 445 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,320 -You'll just rub it in even more. -I'm just dabbing it, Dad. 446 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,240 Thank you. 447 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,760 Well, this has been a fun evening. 448 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,200 And I don't think it's gonna get much better. 449 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,840 Have you got no pajamas with you? 450 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,240 No. I don't wear pajamas, 'cause I'm not an old man. 451 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,280 Well, you're not gonna sleep with nothing on, I hope. 452 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,280 No, I'm not sleeping... 453 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,760 -So gross. -Thanks for the shirt. 454 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,680 Oh, thank you. 455 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,760 Ooh. That's one for the incinerator. 456 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,320 Right. 457 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,720 I get quite farty in the night, by the way. 458 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,280 -I know you do. I know. -So I'll try and... 459 00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:49,960 -I'll try and cock my ass that way. -Ugh. 460 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,040 What I don't want is all that screaming in the middle of the night 461 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,320 when you have wet dreams and all that stuff. 462 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,680 Wet dreams? -It's so gross. -Yes, you know, when you scream out. -It's not wet... 463 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,800 -That's called... That's a night terror. -Yes, exactly right. 464 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,880 -It's very different to a wet dream. -Right. Okay. 465 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,680 I'm not gonna have a wet dream in a shared two-man cabin with my own father. 466 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,320 This is definitely not the threesome 467 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,520 most backpackers would fantasize about on a gap year. 468 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:16,880 You need to turn the light off. 469 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,760 -No, you turn the light off. -No, you were the last in. 470 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:21,120 -No. Sorry. -You have to turn the light off. 471 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,440 I'm not getting out of this bed now I'm in it. 472 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,680 -But you-- -I am not getting out of it. 473 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:26,760 -No-- -I'm in it now. 474 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,640 Fine, I'll do it. 475 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:32,800 Such bad chafe. 476 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,120 Oh, please. I don't want to know about your chafe. 477 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,960 I think if we do this again, I'm gonna have a single cabin. 478 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,640 Night, night, Daddy. Love you. 479 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:47,560 Fuck off. 480 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:07,440 Good sleep? 481 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,640 Um, so-so, I would say. So-so to appalling. 482 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,640 I had a terrible dream in the middle of the night. 483 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,800 I dreamt that somebody's ass was right in my face, 484 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,880 and then I woke up and yours was. 485 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,880 I think today may be a bridge too far for me, 486 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,800 but I'll do my best to take an interest. 487 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,240 Oh, look, there's the tour guide. We can go get a tour over there. 488 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,440 No, we don't need a tour guide. 489 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,160 All tour guides do is pick your pocket, 490 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,560 and they have no information about anything. 491 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,120 I've got it all up here. 492 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:43,240 Aided a little bit by this brochure. You do not need a tour guide. 493 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:44,560 -Okay. -So... 494 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,920 -The bridge was built in nineteen forty... 495 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,080 two. 496 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,560 -No, three. 497 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,240 -I have no idea how long it is. 498 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,240 Why would you be interested in how long it was? 499 00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,320 That's what I wanted to know. 500 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,120 -I look at it and I'm thinking-- 501 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,800 Because I want to know its length. 502 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,400 -That's a perfectly normal question to-- -It's probably in here. How long it is. 503 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,680 -It's a most ludicrous question. -No, I wanna know its length. 504 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,200 Four hundred meters. You're making it up. 505 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,360 So here it is. 506 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:22,280 We could be standing virtually where David Lean stood saying "action." 507 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,560 It looks like Putney Bridge. 508 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,240 Well, I mean all bridges look like other bridges. 509 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,520 It's nothing to do with that. 510 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,600 -It's about the history. 511 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,560 -Tower Bridge, exactly. -That looks different. It's got two bits. 512 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:34,560 Yeah, okay. 513 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,480 -But we're not talking about bridges. -Millennium Bridge. 514 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:41,200 We're talking about the fact that this is history. 515 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,200 This is the bridge on the River Kwai, 516 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,720 one of the most famous bridges in the world, 517 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:52,000 because of what happened in 1942 and the people that died building it. 518 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,480 For once, my father may have a point. 519 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:03,600 They say that more than 100,000 people died building this railway, 520 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,440 13,000 of whom were prisoners of war. 521 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:10,760 So, what do you think? 522 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,560 Well, my first reaction was that it was gonna be pretty underwhelming. 523 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:17,080 -And physically it is, 524 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:22,600 but when you think about the history of it and the story behind it, 525 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:28,560 -then it's pretty sobering. -Yeah. It is. 526 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:47,800 297 meters is the length of the bridge, just so you know. 527 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,880 You've seen the bridge. -I'm just saying. 528 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,080 You've seen the bridge on the River Kwai. 529 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,640 You'll be asking me what width it was next. 530 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:58,760 Ten meters. 531 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,960 And you do know the film Bridge Over the River Kwai... 532 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,200 -...was made in Sri Lanka. 533 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:06,640 All of that... 534 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,280 "We could be standing here 535 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,160 where David Lean shouted 'action.'" 536 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,400 -That's you. That's how you sound. 537 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,720 Don't be ridiculous. I don't speak like that. 538 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:18,240 You do. And the point is that's not where David Lean was, 539 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,480 -because he was in a different country. -Oh, God. 540 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:31,320 The thing that really annoys me about Jack is he's so pedantic. 541 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,800 "Oh, you got the length wrong," and all that. 542 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:37,760 These things don't matter. We're not interested in the fucking width. 543 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,200 We're interested in the fact that we've seen 544 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,280 one of the greatest bridges in the world, 545 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,760 and where one of the greatest films ever made was made, 546 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,560 or possibly not made. 547 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,160 Thank God we're now heading to the beach, 548 00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,040 so Dad can really chill out.